"better than ezra's desperately wanting"

My favorite verse is the following:

Then they asked what went wrong
that you never had it right.
that you never had it right
I remember running through the wet grass
falling a step behind.
...
Kick them right in the face

"love at first sight"

I don't believe in love in first sight. I just don't think it's possible. There's something inherently wrong in falling ass over teakettle for someone you've seen fleetingly. It's the peptide hormones talking, not love.

I subscribe to the school of thought that love comes gradually. Its onset is gradual, as is its departure. Love is something that comes when you realize that somebody really is amazing: personality, charm, looks... the whole package. So many people confuse it with their hormones that it is no wonder it disappears so quickly. Love isn't instant. Love is the enduring affection you have when you realize that you've found the one person you were looking for the whole time.

"for the love of pete"

Gosh darn it. I took a shower and a few hours later, my hair feels strange. I think I forgot to shampoo.

"fye is mine"

I am now the proud owner of this poster. Fye-san, you make me squeee in excitement.

"one short, one long"

1 short term goal:
- get straight A's this semester

1 long term goal:
- get into medical school

"case competition"

I recently joined a case competition for Haas with three other students. mmm goodie.

"shanghai here I come"

My admissions to a shanghai university was approved yesterday! I will soon be an ex-Berkeley student, and future Fudan student. Horray, horray!

"vomitous flu"

I thought I was a little too old to be vomiting due to the flu, but I guess I'm not. The sad part is that I think I felt better after vomiting than I did before.

It was really weird waking in the middle of the night freezing to death even though I was under two blankets (including a down comforter). It was summarily weird to wake up again because I was burning hot. Oddly enough, I think I managed to keep a cool head amidst the fog of illness. Not once did I desire my mother or someone to come take care of me.

After dragging myself out of bed around 3am, I decided to drug myself with cold/flu pills, a multivitamin, and a small claritin for good measure. I put on another sweater, boiled some hot water, and proceeded to vomit the strawberry juice I drank with the pills. I sat typing at my computer for about an hour to notify my GSIs that I might not be in class tomorrow, and decided to try rest if I couldn't hydrate myself without it coming back up. I feel a little better after the nap.

Even though it would have been nice fretting over me, I think I feel better controlling my own medication and treatment. Perhaps I am a type 3 like Professor -ahem- Jack said in class. He mentioned that he preferred to be called by his first name, so I never bothered remembering the professor's last name. >_<

"not eecs"

I tire of people assuming that my workplace has anything to do with my major. No I'm not EECS. No, I don't work in the computing center. Yes, I will fix your computer.

"95% candy, 5% other"

I decided to clean out my desk the other day, and the sheer amount of candy I found within was appalling, even to me. Here's a short list of some of my secret stash (keep in mind that I store most of my candy in the pantry:

top right drawer

• golden boronia cappuccino crunchy nougat, made in australia
• kopiko coffee-milk candy, from thailand
• some korean melonball candy
• heards, barley sugar, from australia

top left drawer

• ghirardelli dark chocolate squares (mint, 60% dark, and raspberry filling)
• two bags of haribo happy-cola gummi candy
• chinese "white rabbit" candy
• some nonpareil gummy bears
• various fruit flavored korean candy

middle left drawer

• fazer finlandia vodka candy, from iceland
• hershey's cherry cordial creme kisses
• two bags of hershey's chocolate mint kisses
• milky way caramels

The amusing part is that I used to hoard mini-doughnuts and doughnut holes in my drawers for easy access. I'm made of candy!

"thorns or no thorns"

On my 22nd birthday, Miss Emily bought me these beautiful tulips. Adorable, simply adorable. I really enjoy flowers with large round bulbs, such as incurved chrysanthemums, peonies, hydrangeas, and some types of dahlias. I also dislike flowers with thorns, such as roses. Couple my dislike of roses with my dislike of chocolate, and you get an atypical example of the female species.

I suppose that I really am stranger than the norm. Compliments about myself make me nervous and distrustful. If someone tried to get close to me, I tend to deflect it. I consider myself fairly good at reading emotional responses, so I've been able to defend against emotional attachment easily.

Last night, I found myself liking someone more than I thought I would have. It's a little unsettling but if I reason that if I ignore it, it will go away.

"peach buns"

Peaches are a symbol of longevity despite their short lifespan after being plucked. This makes them a perennial favorite as the shape of Chinese new year buns. I'm personally fond of the fuzz on the surface of a peach; It reminds me of the cute fuzzy cheeks on little babes. Who doesn't want to eat a bun that looks so gentle and pretty?

I've been missing home as of late for the past semester. I miss having someone to remind me to eat dinner at a reasonable time, or saying 'hello' to two enormous trees on Millbrook every time I drive home. Most of this probably stems from the fact that my roommate has been serious about her new boyfriend and never home. I haven't seen her sleep in her bed since early September. There's something sad about coming home to an empty apartment that I can't quite figure out. I always thought that I could easily live a life single and alone, but perhaps I'm not as schizoid as I claim to be. This realization has a manifold of implication, chief amongst them is the fact that I can't be alone. Or more exactly, I don't like to be alone.

...or that I'm just lonely.